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May 3rd, 2007
Stanhope in '08 has Quit in '07!
We're done, at least so far as being a candidate.
For all of our false optimism, forced enthusiasm and the tireless effort of
a small team of close friends, we couldn't get past the wall of bureaucracy.
The Federal Election Commission proved insurmountable in their spiderweb of
legal fingerfucking. The idea that I could run an effective campaign rested
on the fact that I tour constantly for a living and have a built-in audience
and media wherever I go. FEC rules would not allow for me to campaign at paid
gigs while also retaining a personal income from those shows.
If I can't recruit from my shows, I'm about as effective as standing on a
milk crate in the city park.
Even our crafty attempts at creating our own loopholes in the laws - like
jailhouse attorneys trying to invent and employ makeshift last-minute
defenses - still came up short in the face of the Federal Election
Commision.
The system is set up to keep the two-party monopoly as free from competition
as possible.
The penalties for fucking up with FEC rules make IRS penalties look like
fetish spankings and I fuck up quite a bit.
The other problem was simply in making the whole thing fun. The more rules,
paperwork and bullshit we'd run into the less creative and funny it was
becoming. The process started to feel like when we had to "clean it up" for
the Man Show - and we all know how well that worked out.
Our intention in this campaign was to try to get media attention for the
Libertarian
Party and we have no intention of giving up that campaign. It's frustrating
to see this country bordering on totalitarianism
and having viable options like the Libertarians completely blacked out.
We'll still put our efforts into getting the LP into the mainstream and
eventually get behind a candidate. But it was better to bail now before
announcing as opposed to plowing through with our pants half down only to
fall apart later, looking like complete shitheads at the expense of the
Party.
The amount of high-level people that went out of their way to support us was
amazing. On the day that we have our shit together - more organized and
better prepared to deal with the powers that be - we may just take another
stab at it.
So jump on board, join the Libertarian Party (www.lp.org) and stay involved.
We still plan on making some noise this year and turning the Libertarian
National Convention in Denver next May into the Animal House of the Next
Revolution.
Be sure to get on our mailing list so you can get involved in the trouble
we'll be causing.
For those of you with Stanhope in 08 t-shirts, I promise I will try to die
in some horrible fashion that makes them vaulable some day.
We'll fly you down to our tattoo guy in Tampa and pay to have it redone when
we play there in November. Maybe we can make it say "Sanjaya in '08". Or
maybe I'll run for a local water commisioner post in '08 and you'll look
like you're extremely over-zealous about low-level local politics.
Many people have said that it doesn't matter who you vote for, that the
whole game is rigged. That's why our next project will be to start our own
Illuminati, Skull & Bones and New World Order that will secretly control the
current New World Order without them even knowing.
Our secret society will be so secret that many of it's member will not even
know they are members. America has laws against monopolies and there is no
reason that there cannot be free market competition when it comes to covert,
world-ruling cabals and all-powerful, mystical fraternities.
My deepest thanks to all who went out of your way for this
truncated attempt at giving the whole system the finger. We still intend to
say " Fuck You" loudly and repeatedly. We'll just have to find more unique,
exciting and unregulated ways to do it.
No matter who is elected to what man-made office or put on whatever throne,
you are still the leader of your own free world.
Stick around.
~stanhope
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